My professor was right. We now live in a world where it's okay to share every ounce of information about yourself to others. Google has your medical records, Facebook has your status updates, Twitter knows what you're eating. Linkedin knows where I've worked. Flickr knows what my trends in photography are. What else?
I sort of jumped the band wagon and added a bit more of myself to cyberspace. I've been posting ads on FB marketplace to sell some stuff that I need to get rid of when I move out and copied the same items on Uloop and Craigslist. Craigslist, although shady, does seem to get a lot of a responses. Within an hour someone was already asking for me to reserve an item for them. There was a section listed as "Resumes". You're probably thinking that I'm an idiot for doing this right? Well I went for it and my resume, or I guess, my skills and work experiences are now listed. All I left was an email for someone to contact me. I even wrote a cover letter. No bites from the East Bay pond yet, but I'll be waiting.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
"Twinkle, Twinkle"
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder where you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder where you're at!"
I'm slowly reading Alice in Wonderland when I get the chance to glance at my Stanza app on my iPod. Disney stayed pretty close to the book in terms of the quotes, not so much the physical descriptions. They changed a lot of that. I could use a Disney movie.
How I wonder where you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle little bat!
How I wonder where you're at!"
I'm slowly reading Alice in Wonderland when I get the chance to glance at my Stanza app on my iPod. Disney stayed pretty close to the book in terms of the quotes, not so much the physical descriptions. They changed a lot of that. I could use a Disney movie.
Frazzled
Sounds like the right choice of word with how I'm feeling. Why is everything due this week and next week? My list so far (I like making lists):
- SpongeBob Fun Day Friday Carnival Plans
- Poster sessions
- P258 reading
- P258 research presentation
- Scholarship application
- P258 grant application/paper
- 112C research paper
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Non-Caffeinated
"You have an unusual talent as an archivist for a student uninterested in the libraries. If you're ever interested..."
Michelle, Andrew, and the rest of the staff at Special Collections has made campus life a second home to me. I realized how much I'm going to miss them when I leave. The Libraries had a picnic in Aldrich Park today, it was a small gathering, but intimate. I don't exactly know the staff outside those office doors, but it was fun to be surrounded by a group of people that I identified with ever since I was a little girl. Not many people know this, though I'm sure they're not surprised-- I've always wanted to work with books. Sadly it had to be Disney to jump start that wish through Beauty and the Beast with Belle on those ladders on wheels, gliding from shelf to shelf filled with all kinds of books. One of the main features I need in my future home is a huge library, even if the Kindle is going pwn me for the space I intend on using.
I can't exactly pin my job down to one thing I do. There's so many projects to do, you can't keep track. My favorite part of the job is to interact with the staff and go through the hundreds of collections we house in our department. The Virgil Partch collection was really fun to work with, he had a bunch of artwork to thumb through from the 1960s. Or the Don Meadows collection, she was the first female forest ranger and we had her granddaughter come visit us from New York, just so she could look through all the letters, postcards, and telegrams we preserved. It's the personal items that I'll remember most.
I actually found a niche in the real world. I know I'm a competent employee and a passionate one at that. Now to carve a much larger one that's relevant to my major and experiences listed in my resume.
Michelle, Andrew, and the rest of the staff at Special Collections has made campus life a second home to me. I realized how much I'm going to miss them when I leave. The Libraries had a picnic in Aldrich Park today, it was a small gathering, but intimate. I don't exactly know the staff outside those office doors, but it was fun to be surrounded by a group of people that I identified with ever since I was a little girl. Not many people know this, though I'm sure they're not surprised-- I've always wanted to work with books. Sadly it had to be Disney to jump start that wish through Beauty and the Beast with Belle on those ladders on wheels, gliding from shelf to shelf filled with all kinds of books. One of the main features I need in my future home is a huge library, even if the Kindle is going pwn me for the space I intend on using.
I can't exactly pin my job down to one thing I do. There's so many projects to do, you can't keep track. My favorite part of the job is to interact with the staff and go through the hundreds of collections we house in our department. The Virgil Partch collection was really fun to work with, he had a bunch of artwork to thumb through from the 1960s. Or the Don Meadows collection, she was the first female forest ranger and we had her granddaughter come visit us from New York, just so she could look through all the letters, postcards, and telegrams we preserved. It's the personal items that I'll remember most.
I actually found a niche in the real world. I know I'm a competent employee and a passionate one at that. Now to carve a much larger one that's relevant to my major and experiences listed in my resume.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
There is no title today.
I'm starting to enjoy what the weather has to offer down here. Today was a little gloomy but a few days ago it was a gorgeous day. Sunny, but cool. My cold is finally gone-- maybe I can finally enjoy myself and take more pictures.
Didn't really do much this weekend. Lewis and I made bison burgers! That's right, buffalo! Mmm, tasty. We watched Iron Man 2 the other night too. It was so fun to watch, there was more content to digest this time. I want to catch up with the Marvel world and read up on the superheroes. Also watched Time Traveler's Wife which was a little confusing. It was an okay movie; more loop holes than I expected. That book should also be on my list to read!
I've been wishy-washy with moving home. I'm trying to be optimistic. My list of things to do if I have to move back right after graduation:
- Read for pleasure (long list of books I want to read)
- Take up a cake decorating or cooking class
- Maybe a photography class too
- Find a pilates or yoga class (lots of classes so far)
- Start to play tennis again with my dad (it's been a while)
- Pick up piano again (Ms. Laura would be proud)
- Grow something for once in a proper garden
- Catch up with Korean dramas
- Redecorate my ancient room and create an office space
- Secure a job
- Find research in child development
- Study for GREs
- Take GREs
- Start making letter of rec binder (should probably start now)
- Get letters of recommendation
- Fill out graduate school applications
- Volunteer at a children's center or a group home
- Learn to drive myself past the Tri-City area (face palm)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Home Bound
Graduating and getting ready to finally move home has been a touchy subject for me. More so than usual because the impending date is in 3 weeks? Or was it 4? I'm not ready to pack and go home and restart to a 8-5 job. When am I ever going to have a period of complete rest and do whatever the hell I want before all of this? I don't have that. I desperately want a break without knowing that I have a deadline to meet or some appointment I have to show up for. I just want to sit and curl up to a good book.
Is it bad that I sort of want to suggest for my family to just back off and not vacation down here for a week after I graduate so I can get some breathing room? I'm feeling suffocated. I even tried to subtly drop hints to my mom today about needing a place of my own. All I asked for my own space, in our house, and we don't have room to squeeze me back in. So if not my own room, why not my own place when I'm financially stable? I brought up one of my friends to my mom. My friend's staying in Berkeley after she graduates because she found a job there and my mom asked, "Doesn't she love her parents anymore? Why would she want to be on her own? Can't she rent out a bigger apartment for her parents to be there with her?"
It was like pulling teeth, with a pair of tweezers. This Asian image of a family always being one unit bothered me. Because I am blood related, I am obligated to put living with family under the same roof first before anything else. I know my mom knows this well because she came from a family of 10 kids and 2 parents. They lived in a 3 bedroom country home when they moved to the States. If that wasn't cramped, I don't know what is. I would need that escape. Didn't she?
My parents are not losing me, I'll still be around. I assure you my relationship with them would be a lot healthier with this physical space. They can't expect me to enjoy being on my own for all these years and then suck me back in to high school mode. I'm not 17 anymore and I don't want to be treated like one. I'm not a form of compensation to start over because it was so hard trying to raise my other siblings when I wasn't around. I'm 21 now and don't want to be living at home when I'm 30.
I tried to emphasize that independence was a good thing, that it had nothing to do with not loving your family. I have learned to accept their form of love and support in many ways over the years, a lot of it was when they weren't around. Now they want to smother me with it to make sure I haven't missed anything. I have already told my dad my fears about moving back a week ago that I was never going to grow in my career or education if I lived at home. It's a legitimate phobia, not being able to succeed and just settling. I wasn't exaggerating. I know it's true and my dad didn''t even try to be rational about what I said. I was trying to be an adult, instead I was being childish and unloving.
Is it bad that I sort of want to suggest for my family to just back off and not vacation down here for a week after I graduate so I can get some breathing room? I'm feeling suffocated. I even tried to subtly drop hints to my mom today about needing a place of my own. All I asked for my own space, in our house, and we don't have room to squeeze me back in. So if not my own room, why not my own place when I'm financially stable? I brought up one of my friends to my mom. My friend's staying in Berkeley after she graduates because she found a job there and my mom asked, "Doesn't she love her parents anymore? Why would she want to be on her own? Can't she rent out a bigger apartment for her parents to be there with her?"
It was like pulling teeth, with a pair of tweezers. This Asian image of a family always being one unit bothered me. Because I am blood related, I am obligated to put living with family under the same roof first before anything else. I know my mom knows this well because she came from a family of 10 kids and 2 parents. They lived in a 3 bedroom country home when they moved to the States. If that wasn't cramped, I don't know what is. I would need that escape. Didn't she?
My parents are not losing me, I'll still be around. I assure you my relationship with them would be a lot healthier with this physical space. They can't expect me to enjoy being on my own for all these years and then suck me back in to high school mode. I'm not 17 anymore and I don't want to be treated like one. I'm not a form of compensation to start over because it was so hard trying to raise my other siblings when I wasn't around. I'm 21 now and don't want to be living at home when I'm 30.
I tried to emphasize that independence was a good thing, that it had nothing to do with not loving your family. I have learned to accept their form of love and support in many ways over the years, a lot of it was when they weren't around. Now they want to smother me with it to make sure I haven't missed anything. I have already told my dad my fears about moving back a week ago that I was never going to grow in my career or education if I lived at home. It's a legitimate phobia, not being able to succeed and just settling. I wasn't exaggerating. I know it's true and my dad didn''t even try to be rational about what I said. I was trying to be an adult, instead I was being childish and unloving.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Heart, heart, heart!
I have the best boyfriend ever.
I simply adore you.
You're everything a girl could ever want.
I'm happy when I'm with you and I know you feel the same way.
You definitely made my day today.
I love you, Lewis.
It's Wednesday
Starting the morning right with Sara Bareilles.
I love her music!
This cold is not going away.
I feel like a snotty nosed 5 year old.
Nose drippage and lots of used tissues.
I'm gross I know.
At least the headaches and body aches are gone!
I haven't done anything in 2 days.
Tonight I have to get back into gear and actually do work.
Another review session for GREs tonight, fun.
I love her music!
This cold is not going away.
I feel like a snotty nosed 5 year old.
Nose drippage and lots of used tissues.
I'm gross I know.
At least the headaches and body aches are gone!
I haven't done anything in 2 days.
Tonight I have to get back into gear and actually do work.
Another review session for GREs tonight, fun.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Overprotected Generation
I know I have a tendency to ramble about a lot of discussions we've had in my Asian American Studies courses and not enough about my psychology classes. There's an unbalanced scale here, sorry. We rarely have discussions in our psych courses because we're always being lectured at. The graduate seminar I'm in for health psychology is probably the only class I've had a chance to really voice any questions and opinions in my undergraduate career. It keeps me on my toes and gives my neurons a bit of exercise, especially since I can only retain so much information before I burst from not applying any of it.
In one of readings a few weeks back, we examined developmental psychology and how we are now willing to utilize early intervention to educate at risk groups for health-harming behavior such as dieting, substance abuse, unprotected sex, etc. Researchers have suggested that it is more beneficial to try and to "nip it in the bud" before they end up as chronic illnesses or disorders which may affect our young generation. Sort of makes you realize that once a diagnosis is made, that label sticks with that kid for life.
What if the diagnosis is something that isn't as serious as cancer, diabetes, or cystic fibrosis? Something that isn't a concrete disorder or disease, but something that can only be alleviated with some medication, but mainly treated with aggressive behavioral therapy? Something as light as being "socially awkward" or "odd" is considered outlandish. It's not normal for a child to be a little wild and it's unacceptable for them to have their own personality. You can't prevent social abnormality. It can be over taught and over practiced, but how much of it is effective without a specialist shadowing your every move?
It makes me wonder, working with kids in an environment like this-- when is it okay to be a little different? You can't mold everyone into a social norm. You can definitely train them to meet social standards, but do you really have to iron out every little wrinkle in there? It sort of comes back to that whole instant gratification thing, not just with the younger part of our generation, but with the parents of those kids too. They want their kids to walk and talk a certain way and if the kids don't do it, there's something wrong with them, because their parenting or schooling is flawless, and it's most likely the kid that's at fault. He is uncooperative. She is just making my life miserable. He is trying my last nerve. What's wrong with how we're looking at our kids these days?
Flaws used to be okay. It's what builds character, at least that's what I learned growing up. I understand the circumstances when those "imperfections" become a daily handicap and a child is unable to function, but what happens when they overcome that and make it work but still turn out "different"? It's ironic that we also try to break kids out of the certain rigidity they need to function, yet they are encouraged to do something outside the box. So where's that balance between the rules and the free will?
In one of readings a few weeks back, we examined developmental psychology and how we are now willing to utilize early intervention to educate at risk groups for health-harming behavior such as dieting, substance abuse, unprotected sex, etc. Researchers have suggested that it is more beneficial to try and to "nip it in the bud" before they end up as chronic illnesses or disorders which may affect our young generation. Sort of makes you realize that once a diagnosis is made, that label sticks with that kid for life.
What if the diagnosis is something that isn't as serious as cancer, diabetes, or cystic fibrosis? Something that isn't a concrete disorder or disease, but something that can only be alleviated with some medication, but mainly treated with aggressive behavioral therapy? Something as light as being "socially awkward" or "odd" is considered outlandish. It's not normal for a child to be a little wild and it's unacceptable for them to have their own personality. You can't prevent social abnormality. It can be over taught and over practiced, but how much of it is effective without a specialist shadowing your every move?
It makes me wonder, working with kids in an environment like this-- when is it okay to be a little different? You can't mold everyone into a social norm. You can definitely train them to meet social standards, but do you really have to iron out every little wrinkle in there? It sort of comes back to that whole instant gratification thing, not just with the younger part of our generation, but with the parents of those kids too. They want their kids to walk and talk a certain way and if the kids don't do it, there's something wrong with them, because their parenting or schooling is flawless, and it's most likely the kid that's at fault. He is uncooperative. She is just making my life miserable. He is trying my last nerve. What's wrong with how we're looking at our kids these days?
Flaws used to be okay. It's what builds character, at least that's what I learned growing up. I understand the circumstances when those "imperfections" become a daily handicap and a child is unable to function, but what happens when they overcome that and make it work but still turn out "different"? It's ironic that we also try to break kids out of the certain rigidity they need to function, yet they are encouraged to do something outside the box. So where's that balance between the rules and the free will?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sick
This feeling of being extremely hazy and sore all over really bites. At least I got to sleep most of the day. I might actually sleep before 11 tonight. When I'm not sick, sometimes I actually wish I could be sick so I could stay home. Guess I got what I wished for. I actually feel guilty for not being able to do anything productive today.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Spiritual Love
I absolutely miss this girl. She is one of my very best friends and I've known her all my life. We met back in 4th grade and have been inseparable ever since.
I finally got to talk to her after a few weeks. Our conversations get more and more ridiculous every time we talk. I can't want to start the hilarity up again when I go home this summer.
1: Jennifer always emails me, I get no love from Anuuuu!
2: That's a fallacy. Just because I don't send emails, it doesn't mean there's no love from me.
1: Well as a psych major, if we don't see it, it doesn't exist!
2: Doesn't psych talk about the sixth sense?
2: My love has no boundaries.
1: Did you measure it?
2: It can't be put into words.
1: Because it hasn't reached my door yet. I think it skipped over to the house next to mine so you probably missed it.
2: No I'm sure it's waiting out there. You haven't been searching for it.
1: Oh was that what was keeping me up last night?
2: There we go.
1: I was possessed by your love spirits.
2: Most likely.
We've concluded things haven't changed ever since we got AIM in middle school. Same screen names, same conversations. I miss them.
I finally got to talk to her after a few weeks. Our conversations get more and more ridiculous every time we talk. I can't want to start the hilarity up again when I go home this summer.
1: Jennifer always emails me, I get no love from Anuuuu!
2: That's a fallacy. Just because I don't send emails, it doesn't mean there's no love from me.
1: Well as a psych major, if we don't see it, it doesn't exist!
2: Doesn't psych talk about the sixth sense?
2: My love has no boundaries.
1: Did you measure it?
2: It can't be put into words.
1: Because it hasn't reached my door yet. I think it skipped over to the house next to mine so you probably missed it.
2: No I'm sure it's waiting out there. You haven't been searching for it.
1: Oh was that what was keeping me up last night?
2: There we go.
1: I was possessed by your love spirits.
2: Most likely.
We've concluded things haven't changed ever since we got AIM in middle school. Same screen names, same conversations. I miss them.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mother's Day
Happy (early) Mother's Day, everyone! Please go home and be with your moms or at least call her to tell her you love her dearly. I was actually pretty jealous most of my friends got to go home to be with their families while I was stuck here in Irvine. Only 4 more weeks until I'm officially done!
Being here alone has gotten me to reflect a lot on my relationship with my mom. It's changed so much over the years and I hope I can keep it the way it is so far. I don't know how we survived my angsty teenage years and I'm expecting some head butting when I move home, but ever since I moved away, things have gotten a lot better. This four year break of not being home everyday and coming back for about a month and two weeks at a time was probably breaking my mom's heart a little bit. She and I would spend the whole night packing and re-packing my luggage before I head back to school. My chest always felt heavy knowing that I had to cut my visit short and return to the mundane life I led back at school with classes and/or work. It was hard at first, adjusting to all of this, but it's helped me a lot to grow closer with my mom and being able to get to know her better without expecting the worst out of a conversation.
She's taught me how to stand up for myself and do things on my own. Even if I'm 99% sure I'm not going to be able to do something, she always reassures me there's that 1% that can overcome that. She's always been on the other line when I ranted about roommate problems, or cried because I was homesick. She always called to check up on me and occasionally I would get gigantic care packages from her because she thought I never had time to drop by the store to get groceries. It's 396 miles that these boxes would travel to my place, chock-full of Vietnamese foods that she's cooked over the past few days, frozen in the package, but conveniently thawed by the time it arrives at my doorstep.
She's done so much for me and I'm so grateful for having her as a mother. I love her so much and I can't wait to see her when she comes down for my graduation.
Being here alone has gotten me to reflect a lot on my relationship with my mom. It's changed so much over the years and I hope I can keep it the way it is so far. I don't know how we survived my angsty teenage years and I'm expecting some head butting when I move home, but ever since I moved away, things have gotten a lot better. This four year break of not being home everyday and coming back for about a month and two weeks at a time was probably breaking my mom's heart a little bit. She and I would spend the whole night packing and re-packing my luggage before I head back to school. My chest always felt heavy knowing that I had to cut my visit short and return to the mundane life I led back at school with classes and/or work. It was hard at first, adjusting to all of this, but it's helped me a lot to grow closer with my mom and being able to get to know her better without expecting the worst out of a conversation.
She's taught me how to stand up for myself and do things on my own. Even if I'm 99% sure I'm not going to be able to do something, she always reassures me there's that 1% that can overcome that. She's always been on the other line when I ranted about roommate problems, or cried because I was homesick. She always called to check up on me and occasionally I would get gigantic care packages from her because she thought I never had time to drop by the store to get groceries. It's 396 miles that these boxes would travel to my place, chock-full of Vietnamese foods that she's cooked over the past few days, frozen in the package, but conveniently thawed by the time it arrives at my doorstep.
She's done so much for me and I'm so grateful for having her as a mother. I love her so much and I can't wait to see her when she comes down for my graduation.
It's Purty
Ah yes, I also have a new layout in seafoam green! I'm going to make an effort to post more things about Irvine. I have plenty of rants to think about but right now I'll try to be less of a Debby Downer and be more of Cool Craig. I'm not 50 years old, I just speak like one. Don't judge me!
Snapshots of Saturday
It was such a gorgeous day out today, sad that I stayed inside most of the time. I woke up to take a practice GRE exam that lasted for about 3 hours. It's safe to say that I was screwed. All that high school math was forgotten and only a few tricks from AP English came back to me. Damn those analogies and triangles! My two days of cramming obviously didn't help much.
I spent the rest of the day at home, baking (again), and reading for class. I've been on such a baking streak. Not sure if it's a sign of stress or not, but it's comforting. Two weeks ago it was PB & J cookies, then banana bread, and today, chocolate vegan cake. If you want to check out my insane obsession with food, you can always visit http://ontopofthefoodchain.tumblr.com/. The blog hasn't been doing well, but I do have some followers. People from class now know me as the foodie. I rather have that label than the "weird-awkward-girl-that-always-sits-in-the-front-of-the-class". My plants are doing well too! I never named the baby cilantro and basil pots, they're just sprouting. Sad that my sunflowers died after spring break; too much sun. Fu Man 2 and the other unnamed plant are thriving on my window sill. I love plants.
Here's a few pictures from today. I wish I got to spend the day with Lewis or a girlfriend, but it was nice to be on my own for a change, sort of. I end up so unproductive when I'm by myself!
I spent the rest of the day at home, baking (again), and reading for class. I've been on such a baking streak. Not sure if it's a sign of stress or not, but it's comforting. Two weeks ago it was PB & J cookies, then banana bread, and today, chocolate vegan cake. If you want to check out my insane obsession with food, you can always visit http://ontopofthefoodchain.tumblr.com/. The blog hasn't been doing well, but I do have some followers. People from class now know me as the foodie. I rather have that label than the "weird-awkward-girl-that-always-sits-in-the-front-of-the-class". My plants are doing well too! I never named the baby cilantro and basil pots, they're just sprouting. Sad that my sunflowers died after spring break; too much sun. Fu Man 2 and the other unnamed plant are thriving on my window sill. I love plants.
Here's a few pictures from today. I wish I got to spend the day with Lewis or a girlfriend, but it was nice to be on my own for a change, sort of. I end up so unproductive when I'm by myself!
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