My throat itches so much. It might not even be my throat because part of my nasal passages also want to be relieved of this. I checked my medicine stash and I'm running low. I need to restock my supplies. I love spring, but I hate it for this. Weather in Irvine is ugly. The sun shines 80% of the time and .01% of the time, it rains. 19.99% of the time it's bipolar.
First day of class today, woke up at 8 without my alarm. I got a lot done preparing for class and now I feel like I should have dragged myself to the mini gym a few houses down to get back in shape. Maybe Friday. Going through my closet trying to find something to wear for more than an hour is unacceptable.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Numbing Start
A nightmare about being late to class or to an exam is also waiting for me tonight when I go to bed. I'm already going over notes from last quarter and hoping I don't conk out during lecture or lab. Spring break was too short. Getting into school mode is going to kill me for the next two weeks. Not looking forward to being on campus for 12 hours. Yay for anxiety! I survived last quarter, must wish all the best for this one I suppose.
On a heavier note, coming back to the apartment yesterday was pretty depressing. I was so set on coming back to finding my turtles greeting me. Holmes begging for food while Watson is chilling at the end of the dock. Unfortunately only one turtle greeted me with awkward swims around the fake plant. Water levels were way too low, food gathered at the filter like moss on a tree, and Watson isn't moving.
It gives me chills to think about it. He was only 3 months old. When I took him and Holmes home, they were both stubborn and sick. I did everything I could to get them to eat and act natural. After a few week of attentive care, they were healthy. They grew so fast! Holmes outdid Watson on the eating and growing, but they were both doing what turtles were supposed to do: bask, eat, poop, swim, sleep, etc. I feel really guilty that I didn't take them home with me over break and allowed myself to trust someone else to take care of them. That person definitely wins a Darwin award for the neglect. I know I shouldn't point fingers because either way, Watson's gone.
Lewis and I buried him near a patch of wild flowers at Crystal Cove Beach. I've never had to bury a pet before and don't think I was ever this attached to one either. Our original plan was to throw him into the sea but we didn't want to pollute the ocean. Land was okay, too. We said a few words to our friend and put him at rest. I guess it's sort of funny to put Watson at the beach since he swam in fresh water only, but maybe in another life he'll be a sea turtle and survive greater waters. Now I just have to cross my fingers that Holmes would be able to live for another few decades.
I miss you, Watson. I never thought of you as a slow, dim-witted turtle people thought of you to be. You were the one that taught Holmes how to catch food near the filter by swimming towards it and how to bask under the lamp. You were always the calmer turtle and I felt I could be patient with you. Holmes always bullied you and I rooted for the underdog. I always hoped that you would live as long as Holmes or longer. At least now you won't be picked on by him. Rest in peace.
On a heavier note, coming back to the apartment yesterday was pretty depressing. I was so set on coming back to finding my turtles greeting me. Holmes begging for food while Watson is chilling at the end of the dock. Unfortunately only one turtle greeted me with awkward swims around the fake plant. Water levels were way too low, food gathered at the filter like moss on a tree, and Watson isn't moving.
It gives me chills to think about it. He was only 3 months old. When I took him and Holmes home, they were both stubborn and sick. I did everything I could to get them to eat and act natural. After a few week of attentive care, they were healthy. They grew so fast! Holmes outdid Watson on the eating and growing, but they were both doing what turtles were supposed to do: bask, eat, poop, swim, sleep, etc. I feel really guilty that I didn't take them home with me over break and allowed myself to trust someone else to take care of them. That person definitely wins a Darwin award for the neglect. I know I shouldn't point fingers because either way, Watson's gone.
Lewis and I buried him near a patch of wild flowers at Crystal Cove Beach. I've never had to bury a pet before and don't think I was ever this attached to one either. Our original plan was to throw him into the sea but we didn't want to pollute the ocean. Land was okay, too. We said a few words to our friend and put him at rest. I guess it's sort of funny to put Watson at the beach since he swam in fresh water only, but maybe in another life he'll be a sea turtle and survive greater waters. Now I just have to cross my fingers that Holmes would be able to live for another few decades.
I miss you, Watson. I never thought of you as a slow, dim-witted turtle people thought of you to be. You were the one that taught Holmes how to catch food near the filter by swimming towards it and how to bask under the lamp. You were always the calmer turtle and I felt I could be patient with you. Holmes always bullied you and I rooted for the underdog. I always hoped that you would live as long as Holmes or longer. At least now you won't be picked on by him. Rest in peace.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Spring Break
It's good to be surrounded by your loved ones. I'm enjoying my spring break this year. Things are going as planned :).
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Iatrophobia
Today I had a flashback of me as a kindergartner running from the nurse and my mom at the doctor's office. I ran out of the patient room and into the lobby hoping some other kids would join me. By the time I got to escape, the nurse and my mom grabbed me by each arm and dragged me back. I cried, screamed, and kicked. Was it three shots that I had that day? I don't remember. It makes me laugh thinking about this because back then my sister and I were the screaming duo that every nurse dreaded at the doctor's office.
I had to get a checkup today and get some tests done. I just cringed in my seat thinking I had to get a needle poked into my arm. The nurse had to find a vein that apparently doesn't exist in my right arm. She wiped some rubbing alcohol on the spot and took out 6 test tubes. Really, 6? I closed my eyes shut and held my breath. That probably wasn't a good idea. She told me to relax. After a few minutes, it was over. I saw the tubes filled with red liquid and felt sort of disgusted. I had no idea it'd be that dark. I was done and walked out to the lobby finding my mom laughing at me.
I had to get a checkup today and get some tests done. I just cringed in my seat thinking I had to get a needle poked into my arm. The nurse had to find a vein that apparently doesn't exist in my right arm. She wiped some rubbing alcohol on the spot and took out 6 test tubes. Really, 6? I closed my eyes shut and held my breath. That probably wasn't a good idea. She told me to relax. After a few minutes, it was over. I saw the tubes filled with red liquid and felt sort of disgusted. I had no idea it'd be that dark. I was done and walked out to the lobby finding my mom laughing at me.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Thanks, Jennifer!
You are such a sweet girl by far. I love getting letters from you and your methods of packaging has gotten a lot more creative over the years. I try to one up you every time, but you're always ahead. Thanks for the Brazilian Girls's poster, the Everclear CDs, and the few episodes of 24! You're one of the few pen pals that still write to me even though my mailing address is nonexistent. Our letter swaping reminds me of high school. Letters in bulk are actually sort of fun to read. I'll miss the anticipation of receiving your letters in my mailbox though. I'm going to get started on your next set of letters :).
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Step Back for Public Health
A friend sent me an article this morning about Pope Benedict XVI's visit to Africa. I hope Francis is aware of this. The pope made a speech about how "condoms increases the problem of AIDS". As an opening statement about public health awareness, that already set the mood for the World Health Organization to react. The director for the HIV/AIDS program acknowledged the church's encouragement for abstinence and heterosexual marriage, but even they had to criticize the pope for making such a statement.
From what I understand, Pope Benedict XVI strongly believes that it would encourage people to engage in riskier sexual behavior. Condoms have been around for a while and since their invention, there hasn't been an epidemic of higher sexual engagements. At least not to the media's knowledge. I would have to agree with the opposing statements that the pope's statement has consequences. Yes it has been a "longstanding Vatican position", but Catholics aren't saints. They are humans, too.
The pope's mission was to speak with other bishops in Africa to encourage other Christians to follow suit with another way to prevent AIDS without condoms. It makes me question what a Catholic heterosexual married couple should do then. Married homosexuals are okay, sex after marriage is okay. What happens if one has the HIV virus but cannot fulfill the rite of matrimony because they don't want to pass it on to their child? What if they acquired the virus from their mother and not from another sexual partner? What would then be appropriate?
Yes the pope's statement did not apply to non-Christians, but wouldn't saying condoms are harmful by word of mouth more likely to spread to the general public? Of course it would, especially if that statement came from a strong religious leader. Everyone is watching. His statement cannot be filtered to only one population. When people learn of this message, they will question the research and education that was meant to spread around the world for a greater cause, both religious and non-religious alike. As a professor from Oxford said, "It represents a major step backwards for global health education; entirely counter-productive."
From what I understand, Pope Benedict XVI strongly believes that it would encourage people to engage in riskier sexual behavior. Condoms have been around for a while and since their invention, there hasn't been an epidemic of higher sexual engagements. At least not to the media's knowledge. I would have to agree with the opposing statements that the pope's statement has consequences. Yes it has been a "longstanding Vatican position", but Catholics aren't saints. They are humans, too.
The pope's mission was to speak with other bishops in Africa to encourage other Christians to follow suit with another way to prevent AIDS without condoms. It makes me question what a Catholic heterosexual married couple should do then. Married homosexuals are okay, sex after marriage is okay. What happens if one has the HIV virus but cannot fulfill the rite of matrimony because they don't want to pass it on to their child? What if they acquired the virus from their mother and not from another sexual partner? What would then be appropriate?
Yes the pope's statement did not apply to non-Christians, but wouldn't saying condoms are harmful by word of mouth more likely to spread to the general public? Of course it would, especially if that statement came from a strong religious leader. Everyone is watching. His statement cannot be filtered to only one population. When people learn of this message, they will question the research and education that was meant to spread around the world for a greater cause, both religious and non-religious alike. As a professor from Oxford said, "It represents a major step backwards for global health education; entirely counter-productive."
What day is it today?
It honestly feels like a Monday. I snoozed for the first time when I had to be up at 6 today. Sluggish was not exactly the word I wanted to describe my demeanor. Anxious as hell would be fitting. So today is the day that I am officially done with my 8th quarter. I don't feel over exhilarated. I'm still sort of terrified I made it through my psych final this morning. SATs and AP tests were a good measure of how bad my test anxieties are. I haven't felt this nauseous in a while.
I usually make it a habit to take my test and still have enough time to go and double check everything before time was called. To my surprise I was one of the lonely fifteen people left in a room seated for three hundred. There are two types of people that leave early: the anxious ones that just want the test to be done or the overconfident ones that know they aced the test. I fall somewhere in the middle. Above average I hope.
I know I didn't fail because I wasn't yelling at myself (silently) that I was stupid for not studying more or for not knowing the right answer. At some point I must have taken the test and stayed on auto-pilot. I just feel really numb right now. And nauseous. 8 am finals are not a good idea. And it's too late to wish myself good luck.
"Judgment Day" is sometime next week.
I usually make it a habit to take my test and still have enough time to go and double check everything before time was called. To my surprise I was one of the lonely fifteen people left in a room seated for three hundred. There are two types of people that leave early: the anxious ones that just want the test to be done or the overconfident ones that know they aced the test. I fall somewhere in the middle. Above average I hope.
I know I didn't fail because I wasn't yelling at myself (silently) that I was stupid for not studying more or for not knowing the right answer. At some point I must have taken the test and stayed on auto-pilot. I just feel really numb right now. And nauseous. 8 am finals are not a good idea. And it's too late to wish myself good luck.
"Judgment Day" is sometime next week.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Week 11
Finals as of today...two more to go and then I can go frolic around campus while I'm high on sugar. Next week is going to be my dead week, I can't wait! Hellooooo, spring break!
- Grammar exam for Psych 146 MW? Check!
- In-class essay for AAS 134? Check!
- Online in-class exam for Psych 10B? I'm going to pwn you, baby! Today!
- 65 MC for Psych 120D? I still need to study for you! *tears*
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Class Picture
First class picture I've taken since our Lorien Hall picture freshmen year. This was a really cute idea my professor had. We got our copies after our final today.
Here's a picture of my Asian American Studies 137 class. Asian Labor ftw! :) Can you find me?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Whoops
Almost forgot to blog in here. I am 4 days behind schedule. Here's a summary:
Thursday:
Last day of classes! My friend and I were betting that people would only clap for the professors they truly liked but I suppose out of obligation and reverence, each professor got their moment of glory for those 5 minutes. I especially enjoyed my last class, Asian American Labor. Professor F.R. was adorable. She wanted to take a class picture to remember us by and for us to see how much we've changed since college. We got the senior lecture where we're set to do great things in the world. She's one of the few professors that I have a soft spot for. She's genuine, attentive to every student's needs, and is in a way, motherly. I respect that she goes out of her way to teach things differently. We're getting our copies of those photos tomorrow!
Friday:
No work or class for me so I pretty much studied. And by studied I mean skim the bindings of my books that should have been opened that morning. I recall sleeping in...
OH YEAH! This was the day that I suddenly realized I had a paper due today and scrambled for 8 hours or so. Procrastination not at its best. I'm never doing that again. I usually finish a paper days before it's due. I've never felt such bitterness for Freud before. And Freyd. This topic on repression drives me a little insane. There's a lot more I'd want to argue, but then quote searching for everything became tedious. I was 2 hours ahead when I turned in the paper *sigh of relief*.
It was late so Lewis and I decided to head over to the Spectrum to the Apple store for his headphones and possibly catch dinner at Veggie Grill. Never made it to dinner there. Everything closes too early in OC. We had high hopes for the Diamond plaza because well, it's run by Asians. Not to be racist, but they run businesses a lot different from non-Asian business owners. The ramen place was open 'til 11! Sweet, sweet ramen. I need to remember to Yelp about their eel ramen, which is what I'll do after I finish this post. We went over to the bakery and got some cream puffs and honey cake, too :). Delicious.
That was the more pleasant part of the night.
After we left the bakery we heard a woman scream bloody murder. People started to crowd and weave in and out. She was on the ground crying and yelling at this guy that I assumed to be her significant other. Some things were said and she hit him with her purse. He tried to pick her up but it looked suggestively rough. She wasn't wearing any shoes and was running away from him. At one point he ran after her and had her in a headlock. She was just screaming and crying. She kept running until no one saw them. No one did anything until Lewis called 911. He reported it and hopefully the police caught up with them. We were really scared. I know things like this happen all the time, but actually witnessing it was awful. Domestic violence is not the way to go.
Saturday/Sunday:
Actual attempt to study was a success. I plowed through so much statistics I'm down to half a lesson left! I'm not yet stressed out about finals week, but I know I'll be begging for mercy after tomorrow. Wednesday and Thursday are going to be my horrifying days. It'll be over then! I'm looking forward to going to work and reading a good book.
Watson and Holmes aren't doing too well. One has a light shell and the other has a pyramiding one. I've attempted to fix it. The cuttle bone in their tank is not doing so well. They just let it sink. At least Holmes is eating the new food. Watson seems uninterested.
Today:
Working 'til 5 today. I have all four subjects of notebooks around me and my boss just told me we don't open until 1. As my supervisor put it, "It's blissfully quiet in here." It's going to be rewarding at the end of this week, I'm looking forward to finally going home.
Thursday:
Last day of classes! My friend and I were betting that people would only clap for the professors they truly liked but I suppose out of obligation and reverence, each professor got their moment of glory for those 5 minutes. I especially enjoyed my last class, Asian American Labor. Professor F.R. was adorable. She wanted to take a class picture to remember us by and for us to see how much we've changed since college. We got the senior lecture where we're set to do great things in the world. She's one of the few professors that I have a soft spot for. She's genuine, attentive to every student's needs, and is in a way, motherly. I respect that she goes out of her way to teach things differently. We're getting our copies of those photos tomorrow!
Friday:
No work or class for me so I pretty much studied. And by studied I mean skim the bindings of my books that should have been opened that morning. I recall sleeping in...
OH YEAH! This was the day that I suddenly realized I had a paper due today and scrambled for 8 hours or so. Procrastination not at its best. I'm never doing that again. I usually finish a paper days before it's due. I've never felt such bitterness for Freud before. And Freyd. This topic on repression drives me a little insane. There's a lot more I'd want to argue, but then quote searching for everything became tedious. I was 2 hours ahead when I turned in the paper *sigh of relief*.
It was late so Lewis and I decided to head over to the Spectrum to the Apple store for his headphones and possibly catch dinner at Veggie Grill. Never made it to dinner there. Everything closes too early in OC. We had high hopes for the Diamond plaza because well, it's run by Asians. Not to be racist, but they run businesses a lot different from non-Asian business owners. The ramen place was open 'til 11! Sweet, sweet ramen. I need to remember to Yelp about their eel ramen, which is what I'll do after I finish this post. We went over to the bakery and got some cream puffs and honey cake, too :). Delicious.
That was the more pleasant part of the night.
After we left the bakery we heard a woman scream bloody murder. People started to crowd and weave in and out. She was on the ground crying and yelling at this guy that I assumed to be her significant other. Some things were said and she hit him with her purse. He tried to pick her up but it looked suggestively rough. She wasn't wearing any shoes and was running away from him. At one point he ran after her and had her in a headlock. She was just screaming and crying. She kept running until no one saw them. No one did anything until Lewis called 911. He reported it and hopefully the police caught up with them. We were really scared. I know things like this happen all the time, but actually witnessing it was awful. Domestic violence is not the way to go.
Saturday/Sunday:
Actual attempt to study was a success. I plowed through so much statistics I'm down to half a lesson left! I'm not yet stressed out about finals week, but I know I'll be begging for mercy after tomorrow. Wednesday and Thursday are going to be my horrifying days. It'll be over then! I'm looking forward to going to work and reading a good book.
Watson and Holmes aren't doing too well. One has a light shell and the other has a pyramiding one. I've attempted to fix it. The cuttle bone in their tank is not doing so well. They just let it sink. At least Holmes is eating the new food. Watson seems uninterested.
Today:
Working 'til 5 today. I have all four subjects of notebooks around me and my boss just told me we don't open until 1. As my supervisor put it, "It's blissfully quiet in here." It's going to be rewarding at the end of this week, I'm looking forward to finally going home.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Generous Professor
In college I've learned to stay away from the awful, grumpy professors. Before every new quarter, I visit ratemyprofessor.com just to make sure I don't end up with someone that is truly wound up too tight. I guess people weren't kidding when they said that my writing professor would be easy-going. The TAs are even more strict that he is in this class.
For today's event, my bets are on the whiny kid that sits in the front of the class that caused my professor to email this to us: "My heart was softened by the desperate pleas in class on Tuesday. The paper is now due at 11:45pm Friday night instead of 11:59pm tomorrow night." There are few people I've met that seem too pleasant to get their feathers ruffled about anything. This professor is one of them and I suppose that's a good thing. It does make me worried when you do see them mad though.
Well this is putting a dent in my schedule! It's encouraging procrastination. Better get working before I do then!
For today's event, my bets are on the whiny kid that sits in the front of the class that caused my professor to email this to us: "My heart was softened by the desperate pleas in class on Tuesday. The paper is now due at 11:45pm Friday night instead of 11:59pm tomorrow night." There are few people I've met that seem too pleasant to get their feathers ruffled about anything. This professor is one of them and I suppose that's a good thing. It does make me worried when you do see them mad though.
Well this is putting a dent in my schedule! It's encouraging procrastination. Better get working before I do then!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Potential E-mails
Dear ___________,
I appreciate your reply to my email regarding my grade about my paper; however you did not address the issues I had with the paper and merely generalized me along with the 300-400 students in our class. I know I'm capable of writing a short paper about ADHD and am not incompetent about the class material. I merely questioned the only comment that was on my paper that could have caused that blemish on my score. That was dismissed and I was threatened with a lower grade if I requested an official re-grade. In the future, I'd appreciate more feedback on the only written work we're assigned in any psychology class and be treated as a university student instead of a 4th grader.
Thanks,
A.N.
I appreciate your reply to my email regarding my grade about my paper; however you did not address the issues I had with the paper and merely generalized me along with the 300-400 students in our class. I know I'm capable of writing a short paper about ADHD and am not incompetent about the class material. I merely questioned the only comment that was on my paper that could have caused that blemish on my score. That was dismissed and I was threatened with a lower grade if I requested an official re-grade. In the future, I'd appreciate more feedback on the only written work we're assigned in any psychology class and be treated as a university student instead of a 4th grader.
Thanks,
A.N.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Two Must-Not-Sees
Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus might as well be considered retired Disney Channel stars. Miley Cyrus especially. If you go to the Yahoo! Movies site and look at upcoming films, you will see advertisements for their new movies.
I'll make my comment first about Zac Efron, only because I found out what movie he's really going to be in and that I tried to suppress a chuckle at work today. No, he's not going to be in a High School Musical 4. If he did, Lewis and I came up with interesting plots: "High School Musical 4: Return of the 5th Year Seniors" or "HSM 4: College Edition". Think about it, Disney, the next HSM movie might just put them at the top of the box office. Well to my surprise, Zac Efron holding a basketball in the movie poster did not mean he was going to be in another HSM movie. He'll be in his own basketball movie.
This poor guy is going to be known as the actor that will always play the "basketball guy". It's funny because as his role as Troy Bolton in the first HSM movie, he complained to his coach/dad (complicated parent-child relationship!) that he didn't want to be the "basketball guy" and wanted to be someone else. In actual interviews, Zac Efron admitted to not even being able to play basketball until he was picked up as a HSM star and was trained to look like he knew how to play. This is almost as bad as Tim Allen being stuck as Santa Clause in his Christmas movies. Efron's upcoming movie "17 Again" is about a grown man that wanted to change his life again and somehow ended up in his teen years. This sounds oddly similar to plot in "The Kid", that one movie with Bruce Willis being able to get to know his inner child, played by Spencer Breslin. Hilarious how some movies and roles are being recycled.
Miley Cyrus on the other hand, has not yet broke from her role as the teen pop hit sensation "Hannah Montana" and will be starring in her very own "Hannah Montana The Movie". Go figure, right? As if this seventeen year old has nothing else to milk out of her loyal fans but to make a movie about her overblown career through the Disney company and her retired rock star dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. Might I add the title is not too creative. This reminded me of the Jonas Brothers' movie in 3-D. That just runs chills down my spine.
I no longer have respect for this once adorable, spunky twelve year old that brought in a different sort of comedy to the Disney Channel Network. She is now a watered down clone of a Disney kid star reject that has gotten wrapped up in fame and no longer has the consideration to uphold the responsibility of keeping a positive image for her young audiences, let alone the media. Yes I'm a few weeks late, or maybe even a month? That photo of her pulling her eyes out to the side to look like your typical Asian is what I'm talking about.
http://www.zap2it.com/media/photo/2009-02/44872783.jpg
Seriously, Montana? Yes we all know you were raised in the South and people there are stereotyped as ignorant and racist, but I figured the media would give you the benefit of the doubt. You don't see us dressing up like the cast of Dukes of Hazzard and putting on fake, ugly teeth while talking in a Southern twang. Adults were hopeful of your success. Kids look up to you. You have little blonde clones running around everywhere wanting to sing and act like you. Take that into account. You're either the virus that will plague the younger generations or the antibodies that will prevent their brains from being diseased by the influence of media portrayals of sex, drugs, alcohol, and in this case, racism. Your apologies to the public were not sincere and you're just as bad as these guys.
As for a little tangent that will ensue, for the lady that decided to sue the pop star for $4 billion dollars, shame on you. I'm shocked that some celebrities have the nerve to show off and act a certain way to get attention but this is just as bad. I don't understand why this woman would want to sue Hannah Montana. That doesn't even solve anything. Where is that $4 billion going to even go? Getting paid off with $4 billion dollars is not going to solve daily racial comments, civil rights violations, or even equate to a "sincere apology". It's just money. I'd rather have the girl doing community service to gain back real respect from the minority community.
Why do we pick on celebrities that do something wrong, but not other "normals" out there that do the same thing? We can dismiss the others because they outnumber us. When one well-known person does something wrong, the world falls apart. That's how our society works and it's appalling. We wag our fingers at them for being a disgrace, with intentions of negative publicity, yet any publicity is still publicity. We elevate issues such as racism to the point that they lose their significance of being criticized in the first place. This is why you get comments like "Asians need to just get tougher skin" or "Lighten up, we all make jokes about other people"; it's acceptable because other people do it and it's okay. Beliefs like that encouraged a Holocaust to clean out for a "pure race" and for Skin Heads in Europe to survive and brainwash youths to attack minorities while the rest of the world remained silent and ignorant. Nothing just erupts out into chaos, it has to be built up.
Keep in mind though, because of strong beliefs of discrimination, it also motivated the Civil Rights Movement for people to defend themselves and change the nation's laws and sense of morality. So unless Ms. Cyrus and many others have done their homework about the histories of the many immigrants that have come here to the United States and has indeed sincerely felt the utmost guilt for even thinking of pulling their eyes sideways to make a statement, then yeah, I'll take their apology. Until then, our generation and many others to follow are going to be stuck in this unfortunate cycle.
I'll make my comment first about Zac Efron, only because I found out what movie he's really going to be in and that I tried to suppress a chuckle at work today. No, he's not going to be in a High School Musical 4. If he did, Lewis and I came up with interesting plots: "High School Musical 4: Return of the 5th Year Seniors" or "HSM 4: College Edition". Think about it, Disney, the next HSM movie might just put them at the top of the box office. Well to my surprise, Zac Efron holding a basketball in the movie poster did not mean he was going to be in another HSM movie. He'll be in his own basketball movie.
This poor guy is going to be known as the actor that will always play the "basketball guy". It's funny because as his role as Troy Bolton in the first HSM movie, he complained to his coach/dad (complicated parent-child relationship!) that he didn't want to be the "basketball guy" and wanted to be someone else. In actual interviews, Zac Efron admitted to not even being able to play basketball until he was picked up as a HSM star and was trained to look like he knew how to play. This is almost as bad as Tim Allen being stuck as Santa Clause in his Christmas movies. Efron's upcoming movie "17 Again" is about a grown man that wanted to change his life again and somehow ended up in his teen years. This sounds oddly similar to plot in "The Kid", that one movie with Bruce Willis being able to get to know his inner child, played by Spencer Breslin. Hilarious how some movies and roles are being recycled.
Miley Cyrus on the other hand, has not yet broke from her role as the teen pop hit sensation "Hannah Montana" and will be starring in her very own "Hannah Montana The Movie". Go figure, right? As if this seventeen year old has nothing else to milk out of her loyal fans but to make a movie about her overblown career through the Disney company and her retired rock star dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. Might I add the title is not too creative. This reminded me of the Jonas Brothers' movie in 3-D. That just runs chills down my spine.
I no longer have respect for this once adorable, spunky twelve year old that brought in a different sort of comedy to the Disney Channel Network. She is now a watered down clone of a Disney kid star reject that has gotten wrapped up in fame and no longer has the consideration to uphold the responsibility of keeping a positive image for her young audiences, let alone the media. Yes I'm a few weeks late, or maybe even a month? That photo of her pulling her eyes out to the side to look like your typical Asian is what I'm talking about.
http://www.zap2it.com/media/photo/2009-02/44872783.jpg
Seriously, Montana? Yes we all know you were raised in the South and people there are stereotyped as ignorant and racist, but I figured the media would give you the benefit of the doubt. You don't see us dressing up like the cast of Dukes of Hazzard and putting on fake, ugly teeth while talking in a Southern twang. Adults were hopeful of your success. Kids look up to you. You have little blonde clones running around everywhere wanting to sing and act like you. Take that into account. You're either the virus that will plague the younger generations or the antibodies that will prevent their brains from being diseased by the influence of media portrayals of sex, drugs, alcohol, and in this case, racism. Your apologies to the public were not sincere and you're just as bad as these guys.
As for a little tangent that will ensue, for the lady that decided to sue the pop star for $4 billion dollars, shame on you. I'm shocked that some celebrities have the nerve to show off and act a certain way to get attention but this is just as bad. I don't understand why this woman would want to sue Hannah Montana. That doesn't even solve anything. Where is that $4 billion going to even go? Getting paid off with $4 billion dollars is not going to solve daily racial comments, civil rights violations, or even equate to a "sincere apology". It's just money. I'd rather have the girl doing community service to gain back real respect from the minority community.
Why do we pick on celebrities that do something wrong, but not other "normals" out there that do the same thing? We can dismiss the others because they outnumber us. When one well-known person does something wrong, the world falls apart. That's how our society works and it's appalling. We wag our fingers at them for being a disgrace, with intentions of negative publicity, yet any publicity is still publicity. We elevate issues such as racism to the point that they lose their significance of being criticized in the first place. This is why you get comments like "Asians need to just get tougher skin" or "Lighten up, we all make jokes about other people"; it's acceptable because other people do it and it's okay. Beliefs like that encouraged a Holocaust to clean out for a "pure race" and for Skin Heads in Europe to survive and brainwash youths to attack minorities while the rest of the world remained silent and ignorant. Nothing just erupts out into chaos, it has to be built up.
Keep in mind though, because of strong beliefs of discrimination, it also motivated the Civil Rights Movement for people to defend themselves and change the nation's laws and sense of morality. So unless Ms. Cyrus and many others have done their homework about the histories of the many immigrants that have come here to the United States and has indeed sincerely felt the utmost guilt for even thinking of pulling their eyes sideways to make a statement, then yeah, I'll take their apology. Until then, our generation and many others to follow are going to be stuck in this unfortunate cycle.
Nocturnal Benefits
A few studies have said that we are able to live on 4 hours of sleep through the Uberman Sleep Schedule. Polyphasic sleep they call it. You're supposed to take 20-30 minute naps around the clock every 4 hours. I would somewhat consider this experiment for the summer, but I know I wouldn't be able to keep the habit up and screw up my sleeping habits to the core. I've been a minor insomniac before, no need for it to be a long-term issue.
I do wonder if I pushed my boundaries a bit more and attempted evening classes, would I be able to survive taking on 20 units next quarter? There are absolutely too many things I want to do and accomplish every time I have a chance to start fresh every quarter. Most it contributes to the school's student checklist for classes. Every check mark I make becomes a gold star and my determination to finish as soon as possible (or on time) heightens the motivation.
In my head it constantly rings, "Two more classes to finish the minor, a handful more to finish the major! Get the degree and I'll be greeted with a different form of freedom." I need to start writing a pros and cons list for the classes and activities I want to take up next quarter. I crave acts of fulfillment a bit too often.
I need to figure out which I should sacrifice...
I do wonder if I pushed my boundaries a bit more and attempted evening classes, would I be able to survive taking on 20 units next quarter? There are absolutely too many things I want to do and accomplish every time I have a chance to start fresh every quarter. Most it contributes to the school's student checklist for classes. Every check mark I make becomes a gold star and my determination to finish as soon as possible (or on time) heightens the motivation.
In my head it constantly rings, "Two more classes to finish the minor, a handful more to finish the major! Get the degree and I'll be greeted with a different form of freedom." I need to start writing a pros and cons list for the classes and activities I want to take up next quarter. I crave acts of fulfillment a bit too often.
I need to figure out which I should sacrifice...
- Psychology of Statistics (sequence class, need to finish)
- Asian American 101 (last major class for minor)
- Asian American Public Health (best of both worlds)
- Asian American Psychology (best of both worlds)
- Social Science 3A (last class for breadth)
- Psychology of Violence (good professor)
- JumpStart Program with UCI Social Sciences and Education
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Future Hermit Shell
I'm in luck with good company next year. It frightens me that I'll be homeless or be stuck with awful roommates. It's been a pattern for the latter. I don't think I mind living in a new place because this means I can start over. Being closer to campus and a grocery store is good enough for me. That was the plan for this year anyways, but that failed. Don't get me wrong NB! I enjoyed your perks of isolation and my higher sense of motivation to exercise more, but you're inconvenient and it's about time I find a niche.
Every time I go apartment hunting and find a place, I'm thinking of how I'm going to make the place more homey. I can't help but obsess over kitchen appliances, furniture, bookshelves, or picture frames. No I don't think I caught the IKEA bug. I'm not going to get super cheap materials, price has its perks but I'd like my stuff to last. Our couch for instance is one of the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture I had to encounter. I can't really complain, I got what I paid for. The sofa cover is coming apart and let's not mention how we haven't figured out how to wash it.
I think I want a more "urban outfitters", "indie" look to my apartment. I'm going to recycle newspapers and glue gun things to sturdy cardboard and make my furniture that way! No I'm kidding, but not really. I magnet towards the DIY/apartment section of UO. It's a bit of an indulgence for me.
Every time I go apartment hunting and find a place, I'm thinking of how I'm going to make the place more homey. I can't help but obsess over kitchen appliances, furniture, bookshelves, or picture frames. No I don't think I caught the IKEA bug. I'm not going to get super cheap materials, price has its perks but I'd like my stuff to last. Our couch for instance is one of the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture I had to encounter. I can't really complain, I got what I paid for. The sofa cover is coming apart and let's not mention how we haven't figured out how to wash it.
I think I want a more "urban outfitters", "indie" look to my apartment. I'm going to recycle newspapers and glue gun things to sturdy cardboard and make my furniture that way! No I'm kidding, but not really. I magnet towards the DIY/apartment section of UO. It's a bit of an indulgence for me.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Hooray!
Fridays are just a bonus for me because I don't have class or work. It gives me time to catch up with the rest of myself. I cleaned virtually everything in sight at the apartment and I'm happy as a clam. Watson and Holmes are chilling, 'cept they won't eat their vegetables. I'll look into a better variety. But anyways, please excuse my emo post from before. I have hope today and don't feel like being a minor caboose wreck :). I'm not completely useless, so hah! My TA said I had potential and wasn't going to fail. My 80% on that last paper is "subject to change", but he said that the professor has been curving the scores a bit because one of the other TAs has been grading really hard. I'd like to buy an optimistic card and take my glass half full please.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
One-Way Letters
It's nearly impossible to rely on the (snail) mailing system when your apartment is right across your complex and there is no outbox for mail where the mailboxes are. Your leasing office will tell you to call the post office and the post office will tell you to call your leasing office. Good service they have here in NB. Getting a P.O. Box address costs money and using other people's mailboxes is a hassle.
With those complaints and present mishaps at hand I figured I'd write to my mail recipients anyway. To my bestie in Berkeley I wrote her two long letters, one from my apartment and another from work. To my bestie in Davis, girl needs to start at least returning my phone calls so I at least can figure where she's even living! To my other usual pen pal in Santa Cruz, she's getting a postcard from me. And of course, since I miss them so, my sisters got a postcard of their own. I forgot how much I missed being able to write something outside of class. It's such a stress reliever. This needs to become a habit again.
With those complaints and present mishaps at hand I figured I'd write to my mail recipients anyway. To my bestie in Berkeley I wrote her two long letters, one from my apartment and another from work. To my bestie in Davis, girl needs to start at least returning my phone calls so I at least can figure where she's even living! To my other usual pen pal in Santa Cruz, she's getting a postcard from me. And of course, since I miss them so, my sisters got a postcard of their own. I forgot how much I missed being able to write something outside of class. It's such a stress reliever. This needs to become a habit again.
Deja Vu
I could really use a good laugh right now. It's not entirely a bad day, but it's just one of those days that you'd rather not have. About halfway into Week 8 and on, the days seem to get more stressful. The thought of papers and exams never fail to make me cringe a bit and want to crawl into a corner and rock myself while I hum 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'. It's easy to get into feeling incompetent and pathetically depressed.
This quarter has taught me a great deal about my major and somewhere in the back of my mind, it still nags me. It asks me these questions with gray areas about how I would handle certain situations if I were to work in this field, how my interpretations of other people's work could affect my work, etc. When I'm making an argument it seems coherent in my head but when verbally put it's what ICS majors will call the 'infinite loop'. It's plausible that I'm bound to repeat the same mistakes and slowly dig a deeper hole for myself.
It seems like if I can't fully get through one basic class, then I have to ask myself what the heck I'm doing. If I can't even properly explain myself on 6-8 pages of paper, what am I going to do when the time comes for a dissertation that is bound to be 20 pages or more on a topic that I'm passionate about? The time, dedication, and emotions I have will back me up, right?
I feel like I'm so screwed. At this point, you can't even say that because it's too late.
So my reoccurring nightmares of HumCORE and mediocre high school English classes have finally come true. It has bitten back during the last stretch and now all I can do is twiddle my thumbs before going to the TA's office hours tomorrow. This is supposed to be a simple task. I'm not as terrified of public speaking anymore, but now I have to overcome the fear of being judged word for word on paper.
This quarter has taught me a great deal about my major and somewhere in the back of my mind, it still nags me. It asks me these questions with gray areas about how I would handle certain situations if I were to work in this field, how my interpretations of other people's work could affect my work, etc. When I'm making an argument it seems coherent in my head but when verbally put it's what ICS majors will call the 'infinite loop'. It's plausible that I'm bound to repeat the same mistakes and slowly dig a deeper hole for myself.
It seems like if I can't fully get through one basic class, then I have to ask myself what the heck I'm doing. If I can't even properly explain myself on 6-8 pages of paper, what am I going to do when the time comes for a dissertation that is bound to be 20 pages or more on a topic that I'm passionate about? The time, dedication, and emotions I have will back me up, right?
I feel like I'm so screwed. At this point, you can't even say that because it's too late.
So my reoccurring nightmares of HumCORE and mediocre high school English classes have finally come true. It has bitten back during the last stretch and now all I can do is twiddle my thumbs before going to the TA's office hours tomorrow. This is supposed to be a simple task. I'm not as terrified of public speaking anymore, but now I have to overcome the fear of being judged word for word on paper.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Elevator Guy
It's 5:56 pm and I just walked out of Special Collections. I'm fumbling with my backpack and trying to check for messages on my phone. The elevator button is pressed and it gives me time to semi-multitask. Our department is on the 5th floor and it takes forever for the doors to open. I dig through pens and pencils, a mirror, my headphones and iPod, and finally, my fingers find the phone. No messages. My backpack re-zipped and I'm tapping my heels. The doors open and I jumped a bit. Elevator guy. I almost never run into anyone on the elevator here. I awkwardly walk to the empty side and stand there looking at my feet. I'm used to having the elevator to myself so I felt claustraphobic.
The guy looks annoyed and started muttering under his breath that this elevator is taking forever. I'm thinking, "No kidding, you took an elevator that was going up when you wanted to go down." He lets out a loud sigh and at the same time swings both his arms outward. I freaked out and thought he was going to randomly take a swing at me. He almost whacked me in the side! He's humming an awkward beat and I realize he is dancing, literally dancing. Breakdancing to be exact. It was horrible to watch, but I was trying my best not to laugh. I exagerrated a frown just so I wouldn't laugh. He picks up the pace and is now stomping around. I try to huddle closer to my side of the elevator.
The elevator dings at the 3rd floor and the guy stops completely. Someone else walks in between us and there's silence. At this point I really wanted to laugh and go back to all seriousness. That obviously didn't happen because I didn't want to be rude. We got to the main lobby and I basically bolted out the door in hope the guy doesn't decide to sporadically flash dance.
This incident only took place for about 6 minutes, but it was a rather awkward highlight of my day. Almost as hilarious as the veteran trying to hit on me at the Student Center.
The guy looks annoyed and started muttering under his breath that this elevator is taking forever. I'm thinking, "No kidding, you took an elevator that was going up when you wanted to go down." He lets out a loud sigh and at the same time swings both his arms outward. I freaked out and thought he was going to randomly take a swing at me. He almost whacked me in the side! He's humming an awkward beat and I realize he is dancing, literally dancing. Breakdancing to be exact. It was horrible to watch, but I was trying my best not to laugh. I exagerrated a frown just so I wouldn't laugh. He picks up the pace and is now stomping around. I try to huddle closer to my side of the elevator.
The elevator dings at the 3rd floor and the guy stops completely. Someone else walks in between us and there's silence. At this point I really wanted to laugh and go back to all seriousness. That obviously didn't happen because I didn't want to be rude. We got to the main lobby and I basically bolted out the door in hope the guy doesn't decide to sporadically flash dance.
This incident only took place for about 6 minutes, but it was a rather awkward highlight of my day. Almost as hilarious as the veteran trying to hit on me at the Student Center.
Lent
I think it's safe to say that my Lenten promise has been broken since the day I started it on Ash Wednesday. I tried to give up cursing.
Woe and behold I uttered the first few words of "cr--" and "fu--". At least once or twice, sprinkling them in like paprika in a soup. It bites. I shouldn't have to give it up just for those 40 days, I should really just learn to keep a clean mouth altogether. College has given me too much leeway to talk like a sailor. I'll admit I still find it hilarious that I used to think 'stupid' was a curse word. As I got older, my vocabulary got a bit more, how do I put this, 'diverse'.
My other idea for Lent was to give up social networking, not Facebook 'cause I did that already. Twitter seemed likely, but it's just going to get me to vent, blurb, or write someplace else. So instead of giving it up, I think I'll push myself to blog more. This gets me to actually do something. It's just as hard as giving something up for more than a month, so why not try to do something and maintain it as a (good) habit for just as long? Blogging it is!
I still can't figure out how to use the Lijit widgit here, but I guess it doesn't really matter who reads my blog all that much. Livejournal was a hit back in the day with the high school crowd I was with and most of it was spammed with "25 Questions" and "Look at my new haircut--see photos". It's just as bad as MySpace. I definitely plan to write more meaningful posts here and not cheat by copying photos or writing blurbs as small as three sentences.
The goal should be to write at least every other day. Or better yet, just write more than I have in the past 2 months. Done deal.
Woe and behold I uttered the first few words of "cr--" and "fu--". At least once or twice, sprinkling them in like paprika in a soup. It bites. I shouldn't have to give it up just for those 40 days, I should really just learn to keep a clean mouth altogether. College has given me too much leeway to talk like a sailor. I'll admit I still find it hilarious that I used to think 'stupid' was a curse word. As I got older, my vocabulary got a bit more, how do I put this, 'diverse'.
My other idea for Lent was to give up social networking, not Facebook 'cause I did that already. Twitter seemed likely, but it's just going to get me to vent, blurb, or write someplace else. So instead of giving it up, I think I'll push myself to blog more. This gets me to actually do something. It's just as hard as giving something up for more than a month, so why not try to do something and maintain it as a (good) habit for just as long? Blogging it is!
I still can't figure out how to use the Lijit widgit here, but I guess it doesn't really matter who reads my blog all that much. Livejournal was a hit back in the day with the high school crowd I was with and most of it was spammed with "25 Questions" and "Look at my new haircut--see photos". It's just as bad as MySpace. I definitely plan to write more meaningful posts here and not cheat by copying photos or writing blurbs as small as three sentences.
The goal should be to write at least every other day. Or better yet, just write more than I have in the past 2 months. Done deal.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
W & H Updated
Look how big these guys are getting! My turtles! I think they're about 1.5 inches now? At least I can say I'm capable to keeping baby turtles alive...unlike my poor plants. R.I.P. Marshall, well almost. He was a pretty pot of daffodils, but now he's just barely blooming and has been moved outside due to a gnat problem in the apartment. Whoops.
2 Years!
This is a dedication to my wonderful boyfriend, Lewis. I know I'm about a half week late, but that's okay. Even it being 2 years, 3 days, 15 hours, 56 minutes, and 2 seconds, I'm amazed at how long we've been together. I'm not as elegant as you are in describing our relationship, but do understand that I'll do my best and that I cherish you :).
First off, Happy 2 Year Anniversary! I must have been one awkward chick to not even move when you said the first 5 words that would spark such a great relationship. And to think all it took was our little quirks to collide and a few months for something to happen. It makes me smile thinking back to our early months together. I think I took a definite leap that needed to be done in order for me to really grow up. It was definitely worthwhile.
You're such a big part of my life right now and I wouldn't change it if I had a chance to go back to when we first met. You've taught me a great deal to love and trust someone on a completely different level. We've been through so much and every time we hit something new, we got through it together. I know it's cliche to say, but it seems like we're one of few couples in this day and age to be this strong. I always learn something new from you everyday and each moment gives me a chance to grow into a better person. When I'm with you, I know it's right, and there's no need to second guess.
You're my favorite guy and there's nothing that will change that. I love you, Lewis!
First off, Happy 2 Year Anniversary! I must have been one awkward chick to not even move when you said the first 5 words that would spark such a great relationship. And to think all it took was our little quirks to collide and a few months for something to happen. It makes me smile thinking back to our early months together. I think I took a definite leap that needed to be done in order for me to really grow up. It was definitely worthwhile.
You're such a big part of my life right now and I wouldn't change it if I had a chance to go back to when we first met. You've taught me a great deal to love and trust someone on a completely different level. We've been through so much and every time we hit something new, we got through it together. I know it's cliche to say, but it seems like we're one of few couples in this day and age to be this strong. I always learn something new from you everyday and each moment gives me a chance to grow into a better person. When I'm with you, I know it's right, and there's no need to second guess.
You're my favorite guy and there's nothing that will change that. I love you, Lewis!
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